| 3:06a |
@@@@@ Gallagher thought of Mary's mother, who was
@@@@@ Gallagher thought of Mary's mother, who was fat and very dowdy and he felt an inarticulate rage at a variety of things -- at the very fact that she was so immense, at the lack of money that had made him live in a tiny drab apartment, at all the breaks he had never got, because his wife in dying had caused him so much painNever get a goddam thingHe thought of Hennessey and his mouth tightenedGet your head blown offfor what, for what? He lit a cigarette, and tossed the match away, looking at where it fell in the sandGoddam Yids, fight a war for themHe thought of GoldsteinBunch of fug-ups, lose a goddam gun, won't even take a drink when it's freeHe lurched to his feet, and began to walk againA dull pain and hatred beat through his head
On the beach giant kelp had washed ashore, and he walked down to the water's edge and looked at itIt was dark brown and very long, perhaps fifty feet, and its dark rubbery skin glistened like snakes, and gave him a jolt of horrorHe was remembering the bodies in the cave"What drunken bastards we were," he saidHe was remorseful, or more correctly he generated remorse in himself because he felt he had done something badThe kelp frightened him -- he walked away
After a few hundred yards, he sat down on the top of a dune which looked out to seaA storm was coming up, and he felt suddenly cold; a great cloud perhaps thirty miles long, shaped like a flat fish and very dark, had covered most of the skyA wind had sprung up and was lashing the sand in horizontal sheets along the beachGallagher sat there and waited for the rain that did not comeHe was feeling pleasurably moody, he was enjoying the barrenness and brooding of the scene, the remote froth of the waves against the shoreWithout quite realizing it, he began to draw a woman in the sandShe had great breasts and a narrow waist and very wide full hipsHe looked at it soberly, and remembered that Mary was very ashamed of her tiny breastsShe had said once, "I wish they were |