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Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

    Time Event
    1:00a
    When I asked her how I was doing, she...
    When I asked her how I was doing, she smiled
    noncommittally and said, "You pass Then she drew
    bloodAfter that I retired to the bathroom with a
    plastic cup, sending Kamen bitter vibes as I
    unzipped my flyA one-armed man can provide a
    urine sample, but the potential for accidents is
    greatly magnified
    When I returned to the exam room, the nurse was
    goneShe had left a folder with my name on it
    Beside the folder was a red penMy stump gave a
    twingeWithout thinking about what I was doing, I
    took the pen and put it in my pants pocketThere
    was a blue Bic clipped to my shirt pocketI took
    it out and put it where the red pen had been lying
    And what are you going to say when chanel purse white she comes back?
    I asked myselfThat the Pen Fairy came in and
    decided to make a swap?
    Before I could answer that question - or consider
    why I had stolen the red pen to begin with - Gene
    Hadlock came in and offered his handwhich in my case was the right oneI
    626
    found I liked him quite a lot better when he was
    divorced from Principe, the goateed neurologist
    He was about sixty, a little on the pudgy side,
    with a white mustache of the toothbrush variety
    and a pleasant examining-table mannerHe had me
    strip down to my shorts and examined my right leg
    and side at some lengthHe prodded me in several
    places, enquiring about the level of painHe
    asked me what I was taking cartier santos demoiselle for painkillers and
    seemed surprised when I told him I was getting by
    on aspirin
    "I'm going to examine your stump," he said"That
    all right?"
    "Yes
    I sat with my left hand resting on my bare left
    thigh, looking at the eye-chart as he grasped my
    shoulder with one hand and cupped my stump in the
    otherThe seventh line on the chart looked like
    AGODSEDA god said what? I wondered
    From somewhere, very distant, I felt faint
    pressureNo, don't look down, just keep looking
    straight aheadDo you feel my hand?"
    "Uh-huhWhy
    would there be? The arm that was no longer there
    had wanted the pen, and the pen was in my pocket,
    so now the arm was asleep again
    "And how about this, Edgar? dior replica handbags May I call you Edgar?"
    "Anything but late to dinnerOne hand was still on my shoulder, but
    the other was at his sideNowhere near the stump
    "Not at all, phantom sensations in the stump of a
    limb are normalI'm just surprised at the rate of
    healingI squeezed pretty
    darn hard to begin with He
    cupped the stump again and pushed upward"Does
    that give pain?"
    It did - a dull, low sparkle, vaguely hot
    "If it didn't I'd be worried"Look at
    the eye-chart again, all right?"
    628
    I did as he asked, and decided that all-important
    seventh line was AGOCSEOWhich made more sense
    because it made no sense
    "How many fingers am I touching you with, Edgar?"
    "Don't know It didn't feel like louis vuitton bag sale he was touching
    me at all
    "Now?"
    "Don't know He was almost up to my collarboneAnd I
    had an idea - crazy but very strong - that I would
    have been able to feel his fingers everywhere on
    the stump if I'd been in one of my painting
    frenziesIn fact, I would have been able to feel
    his fingers in the air below the stumpAnd I
    think he would have been able to feel mewhich
    would no doubt have caused the good doctor to run
    screaming from the room
    He went on - first to my leg, then my headHe
    listened to my heart, looked into my eyes, and did
    a bunch of other doctorly thingsWhen he'd
    exhausted most of the possibilities, he told me to
    get dressed and meet him at the end of the discount hermes

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